(insert something witty)

Listen, it's just a cell phone. You're not going to die if you don't have one. That person will want to talk to you just as much once you're at your office as they would when you were in your car. EVERYONE has them and they understand that shit happens. I'm not trying to say that your cell phone isn't important, or that its malfunctioning is not annoying. Far from it. I'm just saying that threatening me with physical violence is not going to help you. I didn't make the phone. I didn't build the towers. Just relax. It's going to be OK.

Also, yes, I agree, Bluetooth is a stupid name.